Current study and the reason for this post…Am I messing up my kids? By Lysa TerKeurst.
As I write this…I’m tired. Physically worn out from a night with a newborn (Naomi, 1 week old) who had tummy problems. She came via a scheduled caesarean (first pregnancy was an emergency caesarean so wanted to avoid the complications I experienced the first time round) so you can imagine that I’m not a 100% well and still in recovery. Solely nursing without bottle feeds and rocking a little baby just after a op is draining. Our verse this week is for restoration from psalms 23:3 and boy do I need it.
I love how Lysa describes how she oscillates between “Good mum”… “Bad mum”!!!
I find myself doing the very same thing. I have those times when everything is running smoothly and I feel as though I got a handle on things and then… BAM, it changes that quickly. I loose my temper, I shout…I go a little crazy, maybe too crazy and then when all the tears are shed and my almost 3 year old daughter who is all spent crying…I am immediately remorseful. I want to go back and change things. I know I could of handled it better. If I had only taken a moment to breathe, calm down a bit before reacting things could have turned out differently.
Now that Leah is talking her individuality is evident. Alex my husband and I have enforced rules and we stick to it. Like her toys need to be tidied away before getting something else. Most of the time she is compliant but then there are those times when Leah crosses her hands over her chest with a look of absolute indignation and responds “Nein, Ich will nicht” (German to English translation “No, I don’t want to”).
What scares me most as a mother is that…yes it’s tough now. Caring for my babies who are incapable to prepare meals, bathe and feed themselves is okay. It’s tiring but I have control but a shift is taking place. I see it with Leah. She is particular with what she wants to eat and wear and the things she says just blows me away. I’m loosing control and it will get worse as they grow older. All I can do is pray. Pray that I get them grounded firmly in the Word. Pray that they make the right decisions. Pray that when they make mistakes, they are able to dust it off, pick themselves up and move forward. Pray that Alex and I are good role models that exhibit Christ in all our actions. Clearly, I’m making mistakes but I should be able to fess up when I am wrong and ask for forgiveness. I’m learning right now. Learning that my perfectionist ways needs to give way. That happy kids are better than laundry done or worrying about dishes piled in the kitchen sink and a spotless home! The laughing and running around and enjoying my children should be priority instead of getting all riled up that things are not on schedule.
I realize God is indeed teaching me patience, tolerance and long suffering through my girls. I’m blessed to have them and yeah I will mess up, no doubt but if I start the day with prayer and keep those lines of communication open throughout the day it will get better…it will be manageable!
My Testimony 
I know that feeling all too well. Enjoy this time when you have little ones. I would give anything to go back in time to just sit with them, inhale that baby smell and just be. And just know you’re the perfect mom for your child!!
Thank you…blessings.
Hey Sabrina – now some advice from an “older” Mum. I, too, had two caesareans and nursing with my first one. Our second one was in the hospital over two months. I love how you are making the toy thing stick. I didn’t do that and regretted it. Sounds like you have the right priorities in place. Thanks for sharing and CONGRATULATIONS on that new little beauty.
Loved you advice in your post. So much wisdom from a mum who has lived through it all. Many blessings!
This is such a tough time with those ages! Hang in there. A lot of coffee was consumed when my littles were those ages. You are in survival mode. Give yourself lots of grace and remember this time will pass. There will be sleep eventually. You will go to the restroom by yourself again, eventually. You will actually have time to sit down and rest, eventually. Congrats and know you are NOT alone!
Eventually :-)))))) thank you for the encouragement. Much blessings!
You are on mission with your hubby for your family and mission come with all sorts of hills and valleys. No matter whether you’re nursing, resting, cooking, fully exhausted, you name it–it’s an opportunity to worship God or praise Him in what you’re doing. Congrats on the new little one!
Yes…I need to remember this even through the crying of both my girls who want me in the early hours of the morning. One with colic…the other with an ear infection. Praising Him at this point proves difficult when all you want is just quiet for 5 minutes and your eyes are barely able to stay open. Strength! We soo need it. I will survive! Blessings!
Hi Sabrina! Congratulations on your new little blessing from heaven! 🙂 Your children are beautiful! And thank you for sharing your heart here. It is so amazing how we are all in different places and seasons in our lives but still continue to have similar feelings, fears, questions, etc.I know that as we press in to God and seek His Word together He will empower and enable us to run this race well. Love and prayers to you in your recovery!
Thank you…yes, we do have the same fears…and yes I need to keep at it…finish line…heaven. We just need to press as you say. Thanks for the encouragment. Blessings!
Your girls are breathtaking Sabrina! Little angels! Prayer will get you far. Keep it up :). I will pray for you as well! You will lose control sometimes, but He won’t. I know you must be so exhausted right now. It’s been a while since I had a baby, but I still recall being worn out all the time. Blessings to your precious expanded family!
Thank you. Running on empty at the moment. Each night proves to be a little worse. Yesterday the older one woke up as a result of Naomi crying and refused to get back to bed. SI had them both till 4:30am. It was amazing that,Leah woke up for daycare 3 hours later and that I managed the lunch box and breakfast for the morning. Thanks…its amazing that I am making it through the study. I used to always be ahead with reading but I just make it every week. Hope you are well and blessings to you too!
Thank you for sharing so honestly. I totally understand the struggle of a toddler and a newborn. Mine are 18 months apart and the first 6 weeks were TOUGH! It still is sometimes, and like you said, I’m doing fine and then all the sudden, BAM, I’m frustrated and overwhelmed. I see in my daughter what you are talking about with yours. She is becoming less and less agreeable to our suggestions and more and more wanting to follow her own desires. Only Jesus can change that. All we can do is teach and pray, over and over, throughout these fleeting years we have them in our care.
I pray you recover quickly and are enjoying all of those incredible newborn snuggles! 🙂
Pray indeed! Oh Lord give me strength is me being loud when things are going all wrong! Thank goodness He dishes it out and amazingly we are alive to fight another day! I am enjoying it…tiring and worn out but the cuddles are worth all of it. Blessings!
Sabrina, I always love reading your stories 🙂 You have a wonderful way with words giving so much and shining God’s word and I also love your pictures that you place along with your story flow. Beautiful and Inspirational!
Thank you..you are sweet and its people like you who drop by with the nicest comments that keep me motivated to participate…in such activities. More importantly its to enjoy the study and His Word! Blessings!
Oh, how I remember the sheer exhaustion of having a newborn and a 2 year old. All I wanted was a couple of hours to myself and then that would just make me feel selfish! I prayed a lot but never took the time to do a Bible study like you’re doing now – so good for you!! I know God’s peace will outweigh your struggles. Thanks for sharing your story and those precious girls!